I remember the first few years of our marriage I found myself feeling insecure and desperately trying to have it all together; I was always seeking the affirmation that my heart so deeply desired from my husband and wanted everything to be “just right” in our relationship. Things would be good for a while; I would be good for a while. I felt like if I kept checking things off my “perfect wife list” then I would feel like I was enough.
I longed for confidence as a wife, but I was looking for it in all the wrong places.
Then a few years into our marriage, we had our first child, a daughter. Then another little girl, and now our son. And with each child, I’ve felt the pressure from all around me to be the perfect mom; to have well behaved children, to have their outfits clean and put together, to always have the energy to play and do fun crafts, to parent with grace, and never raise my voice in frustration. I would see the mom down the street, the mom walking the isles of Target, the mom in the pew in front of me at church, and I so desperately wanted to be her because she had it all together and I didn’t.
So there I found myself again….
I longed for confidence as a mother, but I was looking for it in all the wrong places.
Every one of us have insecurities as mothers and wives; the unrealistic expectations we set for ourselves are absolutely draining. And while each of our struggles may be different, we each long for confidence in these roles and tend to define our self worth in how we measure up from the outside, at least I do. But more often than not, we fail to evaluate our hearts and forget to see Who has already chosen us; no worldly expectations attached.
We forget to turn to TRUTH for our confidence.
“But you are a chosen race; a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people for God’s own possession, so that you may proclaim the excellencies of Him who has called you out of darkness into His marvelous light.” 1 Peter 2:9
“You have been set apart as holy to the Lord your God, and he has chosen you from all the nations of the earth to be his own special treasure.” Deuteronomy 14:2
Do you see that? When we can grasp these promises and hold tight to the truth that we have already been chosen by the grace of God, the expectations disappear! We have been set apart and are treasured by the God of the universe. The voices that call to us from the darkness don’t have the victory in our hearts, Jesus does! No longer do we feel the pressure to come up with everything on our own, but instead we look to the One Who already has it all for us in the resurrection of His Son. That is where our confidence is found and our insecurities fade away. In this promise, there lies the power of a strong woman. An empowered woman. A woman who isn’t bound by insecurities, but rather defined by the matchless grace that saved her!
Ladies, when we lay the expectations the world throws at us at the foot of the cross, it allows God to pick up the broken pieces and fill them with Himself. And when we let Him do that, all of Who He is spills over into every other part of our lives, including who we are as wives and mothers. When our tempers are running short with our kids, His patience becomes our own. When we hold back forgiveness from our husbands, God’s grace steps in and our hearts are softened to our men. And when we feel like we will never measure up to what this world says we need to be, the peace of His truth comes to our minds and our hearts are beautifully transformed into the women He desires us to become – full of strength and confidence in Him. There’s no longer the need to feel like we have to have it all together because He already took care of that for us on the cross.
So friends, let’s be grounded in the Word this week. Seek your confidence from the cross. And become empowered knowing you have been chosen.