There is nothing that hurts my heart more than seeing a loved one dying. Whether that be one of my own loved ones, a friend, or a patient. The ache that is left in one’s heart after losing someone so close is heart wrenching. But I think the worst thing to experience is watching your husband’s heart aching for his own Grandpa. Que pit in stomach here….
Rewind 8 years on May 13th..My dear, sweet, wonderful, amazing Grandpa passes away from a sudden stroke. One of the men who basically raised me. My heart was ripped out, broken, put back in, and taken out just to be broken again. I have never been so devastated or yearned for heaven more. Although many years have passed, I still long to see that sweet man’s face. To hear his laugh or to listen to him tell stories about his growing up years. I am crying just thinking about him, and usually do. Eric has endured many a conversation that concludes with silent tears over my Grandpa. He always said to me, “I can’t imagine the day that my Grandpa Don dies. It doesn’t seem possible. I will be a disaster the day it does happen.”
Fast forward to May 4th of this year. We were sitting in the Sheridan’s drive through waiting on a chocolate milk shake for me (imagine that, even after eating 3 rolls of sushi) when Eric got the call from his dad: Grandpa Don passed away. We honestly could not believe it. After surgical complications, and what sounded like a rotting gallbladder, he had slipped into the arms of Jesus. Oh my word. The aching of the heart began.
The next morning we headed up to Milford. Even in the midst of numerous funeral plans, tears and hard conversations, there was still so much joy. Joy in beautiful memories, laughter looking through old pictures and giggles that stemmed from our strawberry blond babe. I am glad we went up so early before the services. I think it took my in-laws mind’s off the sadness and stress of the week. It really is amazing what joy a baby can bring. The best part of the weekend was getting to see family. Specifically Eric’s sister and her husband, Ellie and Lou, who were able to fly in from Alaska. Selfishly, I was SO GLAD they were finally able to come and finally meet Nora. What a treat in the midst of sorrow.
So many precious memories we have with Grandpa Don. Eric obviously has more than I do, but I specifically remember one day at their house in town. We were there to tell them that we were pregnant and I had said how lucky we were. Grandpa responded, very firmly, with conviction, “No! You aren’t lucky…Your BLESSED…And every blessing you have comes from the Lord.” From that day on, I have not used the word ‘lucky’ to describe my life or fortunate circumstance. Every blessing I have DOES indeed come from the Lord – not from luck or anything else I have done. What a great lesson taught me that day.
And both Eric and I are so grateful that Grandpa was able to meet our Nora. Although she will not remember him, we pray that we are able to pass onto her the gifts and lessons that he has given to us. Like the gift of HARD work, a passion for God’s word, love and devotion to family and a love for the farm.